The Taikiew Times
The recent AWARE saga had brought to light the existence of lesbians in Singapore, something that most Singaporeans didn’t know about. Mr Wong King Kong, Minster of Youth Development, after conducting 50 months of intensive survey among young women who had just experienced puberty, said in a press conference at Ayenotgray Hotel yesterday, that “after intensive survey has concluded that sometimes young women in Singapore become lesbians because they are unable to find any sexual attraction towards males in Singapore.”
Mr Wong added, “The lack of sexual attraction towards Singaporean men was seemingly brought about by local artists such as Jack Neo and Mark Lee. While these people had become role models of many male Singaporeans, who had began to model their bad sense of humour and complexion after them, no Singaporean women in the right frame of mind would feel attracted to Mark Lee or Jack Neo, less their copycats.”
“This has resulted in the utter lack of sexual attraction towards the male population among Singaporean women. In some of these women, they view this lack of attraction towards the male as proof of their sexual orientation; that they were in fact lesbians.”
Fear not, for having been paid peanuts, Mr Wong and his ministry had already formulated a solution for this problem, which would hopeful help combat this social problem.
“We look at other countries. We spent 3 years reading “To Kill a Mocking Bird”. We realised that many women finds black men sexually appealing. Many women, however, would not openly admit this openly until I seduced them with my black SAF Camo Cream on. What work so well in other countries, we would emulate.”
“Starting from the end of next month, we will replace our regular Bangalesh cleaners with half-naked ones. We have specifically instructed them to only wear a towel when using water to hose the housing estates, as this would give the illusion that they have just taken a shower, the state of which Singaporean women find them most attractive. Hopefully, this initiative would help Singaporean women realise their sexual orientation and possibly solve the problem of female homosexuality in Singapore.”
So girls, if you are reading this, you are in for a treat.
In another news, to prevent the increasing sexual abuse of Bangalesh cleaners, firmer laws will be put in place.
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Note: Photo is taken by me. This is a spoof article, so ladies, don’t be so happy.
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